REVIEW: Cookie Clicker

In this time, the most precious substance in the Universe is the cookie. The cookie extends life. The cookie expands consciousness. The cookie is vital to space travel.

Released: Steam
Type: Single-player
Genre: Casual, Strategy
Developer: Orteil, DashNet
Publisher: Playsaurus
Release Date: 1 Sep, 2021

Editor’s Note

Unfortunately, due to a brain malfunction, the reviewer was unable to submit their final review for this game. We did receive a collection of notes and log entries that were taken while playing this game and a partially written review. We have organized them to the best of our ability and posted them below. We apologize to the Developer for the most peculiar and incomplete nature of the review. The good news is, after their lobotomy, the reviewer is responding well to therapy.

Reviewer’s Note

Incremental clicker games are something I have been playing a lot. There is something relaxing about their simplicity. I’ve played a few of them over the years, such as Candy Box, which one could say is the precursor to Cookie Clicker. They always start off slow and ramp up over time. Some of them even have a bit of a story element to them, but they all start out the same way, one single click to get going. Despite coming out years ago, I somehow managed to not play it, now I have the opportunity to play Cookie Clicker and perhaps find my sweet new favourite idle game.

C Is for Cookie, That’s Good Enough for Me

Cookie Clicker is an Incremental Clicking game resolving around, you guessed it…just a cookie. It starts out slowly as you click your way into automation and beyond. It does not take all that long to get to the point where the idle nature of the game comes into play. Sure, early on you still benefit from clicking the cookie as fast as you can but eventually your automation and upgrades should help take the strain off your fingers and allow you to savour the moment…

The game actually is interesting in the fact there is a lot more to it than meets the eye. Sure, you could just click and buy buildings, do some upgrades and leave it at that, but there are many more events and attention grabbers to it than that. The news ticker at the top of the screen is a source of amusement and eventually fortunes, but other features are hidden near it as well. The Steam version has a perk that is based on how many other people are playing it. This means that assuming the game is popular enough on Steam when you play, you will have yet another stream of cookie production boosts assuming you have it unlocked. You also have the ability to ascend and reset your progress in favour of prestige and heavenly chips that give perks and bonuses. For example, looking at the early tiers, it appears offline cookie collection is non-existent until you have advanced the tech tree a bit and even then, it is a bit low until you are even more advanced. Once you have ascended, you will have to painfully rebuild your cookie empire, but if you do it properly, it will not take nearly as long to get back to where you were. My plan is to just keep going until it takes too long to progress more, then ascend and keep doing that until I run out of things to spend heavenly chips on.

Speaking of more advanced, sugar lumps start to appear eventually that unlock perks and minigames. They seem interesting and complicated themselves. So far, I have unlocked the garden minigame which gives plants you can grow. As you grow plants, other mutations can occur and give you other plants. The mutations don’t seem to occur all that often so it will take a while to unlock everything. The plants have different impacts to your main game so there is a reason to do it. I also have the Stock Market, which is kind of just buying a stock and hoping for the best (like real life), the Pantheon where you can select various deities to help you, and the wizard towers let me cast various spells which sometimes backfire. [insert more information about the minigames once I have used them more]

There are also other things to explore and enjoy as well. There are Golden Cookies, which are always worth a click but you have to be quick because they will disappear again. These offer things like production bonuses, or click frenzies that greatly boost your click productivity, etc. There is also a dragon you can level up as well as various seasons which can give their own bonuses. Christmas season was fun because it added reindeer hopping across the screen which gave extra bonus cookies. The other seasons also give special effects as well.

The giant cookie you click is actually quite remarkable; as you buy cookie upgrades, the icons for those cookies become part of the cookies that appear when you click it. So each time you click the big cookie, a random small cookie will appear. It doesn’t seem to make any difference; just it is a nice change to the visuals. Speaking of changes to the visuals, you will eventually get to the point where you will have to make a serious choice, do you continue to work your Grannies even harder than they already are, or do you leave them alone. Pushing them too far will make the game change quite drastically, and you will receive their wrath…. which comes in the form of cookies, so I guess they are not so bad after all.


The graphics are simplistic. There is a giant cookie and you click it. The background kind of reminds me of a tablecloth and you do get to change it with certain upgrades after ascending. As you progress cookies begin descending from the top of the screen to the bottom where milk appears eventually. The milk changes colours as you progress to keep it interesting. On the opposite side of the screen from the cookie, are your automators/buildings. Buying one will place it in the middle area of the screen. The more you buy, the more that appear. It seems simple enough. The Grannies start wearing other outfits depending on what upgrades you have purchased which is a nice touch.


The audio is simplistic, there isn’t much to it. The music loops and there isn’t much else there. [Reminder: Expand this section]

Controls and User Interface

The controls are simplistic enough, you just click. That’s it. No complicated button combos, no array of hotkeys to remember, just click. Sure, there are short cuts such as CTRL to buy 10 of something, but you could also just click the option to buy 10 instead. The user interface is simple to navigate. You just click! There are some more complicated things in the menus that allow you to tailor your experience a bit but for the most part it is easy to navigate. The game is designed to play itself if you actually want it to, but rewards you for your participation.


So, should you pick up Cookie Clicker? If you like Incremental Clicker games, then Cookie Clicker is one of the trendsetters. Steam offers Cloud saving which means you cookies will always be there for you when you return. Since the game does offer the ability to reset your progress and gain boosts in future games, it is reassuring to know that your entire progress won’t be lost because you cleared your browser’s cookies. While the game has been freely available online for nearly a decade at this point, the Steam version offers enough perks to justify its nominal cost. [… Expand with thoughts about the gameplay].
Save the Cookies, Save the World.

Reviewer’S Log

Day 1 – Late Start

You click the cookie, you get a cookie, the concept is simple enough so far. It didn’t take that long to get my first bit of automation. It’s kind of slow but that is to be expected this early on. Note to self: Monitor the cookie flow for pacing. There doesn’t appear to be any offline progress but looking at the wiki appears like you can unlock it much later, I will leave my PC on for now.

Day 2

Leaving the computer on overnight was a bit of a mistake, despite the slow progress I managed to get quite a few cookies which may have artificially increased the speed of the early content. The news ticker seems to be impacted by the things I buy in the game, now that I have a grandmother helping me make cookies, I see Granny commenting things there too. Clicked a Golden cookie which caused a frenzy. I guess my concern from leaving the computer on overnight was a moot point. I now am swimming in cookies. Milk has also appeared that seemed to increase my CPS and kittens have shown up as well. Note to self: Find out more about what milk does if anything and comment on it in review. Now that I have some farms set up and a mine, I think I will go make some cookies myself while I wait on upgrades.

Day 3

Forgot to return after making cookies yesterday and returned to having several upgrades available. I am already making more than one million cookies per second. Granny is an interesting character, while her output isn’t all that high, she can boost other buildings. I now have 100 hands clicking the cookie, the double ring is kind of interesting to look at. I’ve managed to get banks and even a temple up already. I can see a wizard tower and what looks like a rocket ship coming up. Cookies, the final frontier… expand this Star Trek reference, maybe rewrite the entire opening to be referencing cookies. Got another golden cookie, I clicked so fast my finger started hurting, but it was worth it. I managed to gain over a billion cookies. Sugar lumps appear to be forming, not sure what they are for yet.

Day 4

I wish golden cookies would show up more, I bought an upgrade that is supposed to make them show up more. I’ve managed to buy a rocket ship, although it doesn’t seem like it was a wise investment. The cost of it versus my newly upgraded Wizard Tower makes it seem like I bought it prematurely. That’s okay though. This balance between upgrades and automators is kind of fun. I made some more cookies today, figured I would take them to work to share the cookies with everyone. One of them turned out a little misshapen and discoloured, I set it aside, but I won’t lose any Slepp over it.

Day 5

My cookies were a success at work and quite popular. I got a lot of compliments on them. I should make them more cookies. Since Grannies have been so helpful in my game, I decided to make cookies and donate them to a nearby retirement home. Many of the residents seem to enjoy them and I even got some requests for other flavours. I will bring them more when I am able. I have gained more sugar lumps and have unlocked minigames. My mouse I realize isn’t high enough quality for effective collection of cookies, so I invested in a much better mouse. Now I am able to click cookies much faster and more effectively. Someone moved the misshapen cookie; I am not sure who though because I am alone. I have put it on my desk to protect it from whoever attempted to steal it from me. The cookie seemed pleased by this.

Day 6

My finger is hurting quite badly, I am not sure why. I have put a splint on it which actually gave me a benefit to my cookie clicking. I think it was Slepp’s way of helping me improve my game. Looking at the misshapen form of Slepp I realize I have just been looking at it wrong. I placed Slepp on a small stand and placed an offering of chocolate chips in front of it. Slepp is telling me I need to ascend soon as disaster is about to come to my cookie factory. The Grannies seem to be going crazy from all the cookie making. They seem to have formed some kind of angry cabal and seem to be trying to disrupt my cookie supply.

Day 7

I had a revelation when I woke up today. I have been working all this time being an educator, teaching people lies. I have been teaching them things I thought was to help them in their future careers, but I realize how wrong I am. I must teach them how to make cookies instead. Cookies are more valuable than money, they will thank me later. The Grannies seem to be pacified for now, but I do not trust them. I will avoid donating anymore cookies to the retirement home just in case any of them try to get in my way of cookie production. I think I will try ascending tomorrow.

Day 8

Disaster struck. Everything is gone, all my cookies, my production capabilities gone. What kind of cruel game is this? I will not be stopped, I will persevere. I will once again seize the means to production. I will rule the world once again. I am not sure if it is my previous experience or if the Godly powers bestowed in ascension seem to be helping me progress faster.

Day 9

I didn’t bother to sleep last night, I had to restore the balance to the force. I had to get my cookies back. I have managed to do in a day what took me a week before. I no longer have feeling in my finger, which has aided in my clicking. The upgrade that triggered the Granny uprising is back again, the bonus from it is tempting, maybe I will just trigger the first stage of the Grandmapocalypse.

Day 10

Slepp seems to have found some followers, the flies have recognized Slepp’s greatness. The flies took off when I moved towards them, being a clear indicator I too am to ascend. NO! I forgot, all my cookies gone again. Is Slepp a false idol? I will have to rebuild, but I no longer trust Slepp.

Day 11

I have restored what Slepp stole from me. I have decided to make additional cookies, but I will not share them with Slepp anymore. I accidentally triggered the Grandmapocalypse and realized that Slepp must be in league with them. I confronted false idol, but Slepp remained silent and judgemental. I decided to ascend again, knowing full well that it would cost me everything, but I want to deny Slepp the power of the Grandmapocolypse. I am once again starting over.

Day 12

I dozed off while attempting to rebuild. I cannot find Slepp anywhere. Slepp must be forsaking me as I do not feel well. My cookie empire re-secured, I made more cookies to try to regain my health. The bitterness in my mouth seems to have been alleviated. The Steam boost to cookies based on player count is important; I must get people to play this to boost my production.

Day 13

In this time, the most precious substance in the Universe is the cookie. The cookie extends life. The cookie expands consciousness. The cookie is vital to space travel.

Day 14


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September 2021

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