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Author: Lady Dawn

Steam: Released

Developer: CivilSavages

Publisher: CivilSavages

Genre: Mix?

Release Date: 16th of December, 2016

Type: Single-player

.Story (?).

‘tis the season to shop. You’re on a mission to pick up what’s on your list (which is, for some reason, always only five items long).

.Gameplay.

In COUB, you grab a shopping cart and go from store to store to pick up the items on your shopping list, which is displayed at the upper right corner of the screen (unless you hide it).

That’s it.

If you get bored of that, you can beat up random passersby and start a mall brawl. If you die, just start anew and begin trying to gather your shopping list together.

.Atmosphere.

You’re running around a shopping mall that seems to contain anything and everything. Chainsaws, a bar, televisions, a café, a fast food joint, and more—all under one roof. The people walking in and out of stores and waiting in line are a nice touch.

.Longevity.

I suppose that depends on whether or not you’re willing to put up with the poor controls and repetitive gameplay.

I am not.

.Pros.

• The game has a sense of humor. The shopping list items are ridiculous and the Easter eggs like the one below are funny. The humor cannot carry the gameplay, however.

• The blood and gore is satisfying… until it overloads the game and causes it to stutter.

.Cons.

•  Lack of instruction. I had to go back to the store page and watch the trailer to realize I had to grab a shopping cart and jam it into the items I was purchasing. I’m not even sure how to get money as I started with the millionaire perk and it was never explained.

• Poor controls. Attacking while moving is nearly impossible because you can’t keep attacking in the same direction while moving if you change directions mid-attack; instead, you attack in the new direction you’re moving. This may not sound like a big deal but if you’re being chased, attacking the person following you becomes very difficult.

Then there’s the actual act of moving your shopping cart—which is the entire point of the game, I might add. Moving the cart is not only awkward; it gets stuck on other objects and you’ll often lose your grip. Press “e” to grab your shopping cart and then press it again each time you try to move forward because your character cannot keep his or her grip for whatever reason. It just feels like a poor port of a mobile game or something.

•  Wonky camera angle. The literal angle is weird. It’s tilted in such a way that zooming out doesn’t allow you to see everything that’s going on.

• Poor performance. I had unlimited ammo activated and got surrounded by people. As I fired shots into the crowd and bodies fell, slain, the frame rate slowed to a crawl until, finally, the game crashed. This isn’t something that should happen—especially since the whole point of the game is to be surrounded by chaos. The game isn’t exactly visually complex to begin with, so I can’t imagine why this is an issue.

• Repetitive gameplay loses whatever little luster it has very quickly. The entire game is about driving your shopping cart around and collecting items. This task is difficult due to poor controls, so you’ll probably just give up and start killing people. Killing people is also not quite fun due to the poor controls, so there’s that. If you’re looking for a mindless slaying game, play Dead Island or Left 4 Dead or even POSTAL Redux instead. These will cost you around the same and will not only perform much better, they’ll allow friends to join you as well.

• Bugs. Sometimes people glitch through things.

.Bottom Line.

Save yourself some cash and buy some other violent game to blow off some steam. There’s a bunch of them that perform way better and look better as well.

If you’re really that curious, wait until it gets bundled.

Longevity/replay value–3/10

Fun factor–4/10

Story/adherence to a theme–5/10

Polish (how well the idea is delivered)–1/10

Atmosphere (Sound and graphical content)–3/10

x2

RATING: 32/100

Fun? Maybe. Don’t waste your money to find out. Watch some YouTube videos of gameplay instead.

Stay in the know, gamers <3

~Dawn